The newly-edited Chapter 33 ("Juxtaposition") (link goes to the Fanfiction.Net version) just went up a couple of days ago, and - like with Chapters 31 and 32 - I'm quite pleased with the changes made. They're more subtle than the edits made to Chapter 32 ("Listening Skills"), but no less significant to the telling of the story as a whole. It was great fun revisiting that somewhat-tricky conversation with Yukiko on the bleachers, but I do think that the new version is more indicative of what I was trying to get across the first time, but was not able to portray completely to my satisfaction, given the weekly deadlines.
That said, re-working these last couple of chapters really put a stop on my progress on Chapter 62. I'm just now starting to get back into swing with the characterizations of these characters the better part of a year on from where they are during the Duel/Arc III chapters, and it's taking some concentration to work through on the page where Chie and her friends are supposed to be. (Quite a bit of re-reading of chapters 59-61 going on, lately, to help that happen.) I'm looking forward to reaching the end of the Arc III rewrites, even though I think that's probably my favorite of all the plots, because it deals so intimately with the relationship between the two main protagonists.
I really enjoy seeing what new insights new readers bring to this story. A couple of my readers at deviantART are so sharp-eyed about details that it sometimes surprises me. Perhaps because they're used to critiquing visual art, so they pay attention to the little details. But it's been a long time since I've gotten that kind of in-depth, thoughtful feedback for any of my stories in quite a long time.
And it feels awesome.
Of course, to all good things there must come an end, and it's been quiet over there, of late. Quiet at FF.Net, too, despite the number of hits the story still gets.
Every time I see a spike in "interest" (I can only assume there's at least some interest, when there's a bump in hit statistics), I wonder if it's new readers or old ones, and what they think about the story. The wordcount is massive, so I'm guessing that individuals are not just killing time with reading...unless they've got a lot of it to kill. I also wonder what other stories they're reading, how they think my story measures up to others...all of that typical, self-doubting writer stuff....
I suppose that my time is better spent actually writing the story than worrying over it. But I still miss the old days, when I seemed to make more people happy with my story.
Maybe those days will come back, again. I like to hope so.
28 February 2011
22 February 2011
The saga of Chapter 32
Some of you may have noticed that I recently uploaded the rewritten version of Chapter 32, "Listening Skills" (link will take you to the Fanfiction.Net copy). I'm calling this one specifically a rewrite and not an edit, because I basically scrapped nearly the entire chapter and wrote it again from scratch. Some of the interactions remain the same...but I never quite liked the way that one of my favorite moments - that of the "internal music" - did not make it into the final product, in the original version. (For those of you who have read the updated chapter, it's the conversation between when Chie first comes to Yousuke at the cliff and when she goads him into the play fight.)
Originally, that mini-scene took place in Chapter 31, with Kazunori guiding Yousuke, and Chie stepping in later. And while I liked that moment, it took away from the interaction between the sparring fighters, and it pushed Yousuke forward too quickly, especially considering what occurs within the tent later in the chapter. So, I took the scene out, and it lingered in my unused document for many, many months. Until I started doing the edits for deviantART.
I had always really liked that "your music is inside of you" moment, and I looked forward to putting it back into the story. I think it works, especially as a bridging point from Yousuke's attitude in the beginning - where he's still sort of fighting against Chie's influence - to the end of the chapter, where he's become much more dedicated to his training, which extends throughout the rest of the arc.
Much of the feedback for the original Chapter 32 had also commented on how "choppy" the narrative felt, and I think the re-arrangement of scenes and conversations this time around does a better job of uniting the theme of paying attention to yourself (and to your friends, which is where the seed of Yukiko's issues gets planted in Chie's head).
Do you agree? Disagree? Do you appreciate the changes made to the story so far? Or am I just writing for myself, these days?
Originally, that mini-scene took place in Chapter 31, with Kazunori guiding Yousuke, and Chie stepping in later. And while I liked that moment, it took away from the interaction between the sparring fighters, and it pushed Yousuke forward too quickly, especially considering what occurs within the tent later in the chapter. So, I took the scene out, and it lingered in my unused document for many, many months. Until I started doing the edits for deviantART.
I had always really liked that "your music is inside of you" moment, and I looked forward to putting it back into the story. I think it works, especially as a bridging point from Yousuke's attitude in the beginning - where he's still sort of fighting against Chie's influence - to the end of the chapter, where he's become much more dedicated to his training, which extends throughout the rest of the arc.
Much of the feedback for the original Chapter 32 had also commented on how "choppy" the narrative felt, and I think the re-arrangement of scenes and conversations this time around does a better job of uniting the theme of paying attention to yourself (and to your friends, which is where the seed of Yukiko's issues gets planted in Chie's head).
Do you agree? Disagree? Do you appreciate the changes made to the story so far? Or am I just writing for myself, these days?
18 February 2011
Adult themes - Are you ready?
Those of you who follow my writing at deviantART or Bonusparts.com will notice that there are a few pieces posted there that I haven't posted at Fanfiction.Net. Many of these stories are simply old and just not worth the effort of converting and uploading to FF.Net, or (in one case, at least) exist under someone else's account. But there is one story that I purposefully have left off of FF.Net, for a very specific reason.
"Sink Into My Sin" is a very short Persona 4 story that takes a glimpse into the possible relationship between Konishi Naoki and his sister Saki. It's based on a very lovely piece of art by a talented young lady who goes by Marureenu at deviantART. I wrote the story for her, in many ways, and for her art. She herself writes a beautiful little story in the description of the piece, and I urge you to take a look and read it; it's very thoughtful, and thought-provoking.
Normally, I am not one for the darker aspects of human emotion, certainly not in a love or sexual situation. I don't believe that incest as a real-world practice is healthy, but I also think that there can be a very particular kind of love between siblings that is untouched by any other relationship we have in our lives. Examining that in a story setting, though, is tricky. I never know whom I'm going to offend. Which is why I left the story off of FF.Net.
I don't like to say this, but when I read comments and stories on FF.Net, I often get the impression that there is not a lot of open-mindedness, or appreciation for the simple craft of a piece. Even the same-sex pairings are usually written so poorly, without thought for characterization or motivation for the situation, that I can't help but assume these are written by people who are very young, very inexperienced, very closed-minded, or some frightening combination of the three.
Now, that is not to say that everyone is not entitled to their own opinion. You are, and I am. But I've found that so many people have had a problem with the way that I portray just regular, consensual, adult sex in my stories, in all of its confounding human-ness (and realism!), that I can't even imagine what kind of shitstorm could occur if they read my Naoki/Saki piece. I already get dissed by readers because of the style in which I write, and the pairings I favor.
I'm very pleased with the story, myself. It serves its purpose, certainly, and I think it's one of my better vignettes, in terms of cadence and manner. And I love sharing my stories. But I just don't want to deal with the potential backlash from that one.
So, the more that I think about it, the more I'm considering not posting at FF.Net any longer. At least, not posting those stories with a more adult slant to them. The problem is that all of my stories take an adult slant. Not always sexually speaking, but from the perspective of being an adult, dealing with adult issues, which includes adult fears, desires, and conundrums; "Breaking Point" (the sequel story to "1 More Chance!") has those in spades...!
Anyway, if you've read "Sink Into My Sin" (or any of my stuff) and you enjoyed it, I thank you for your support, and for giving my work a chance. Be on the lookout for more stories in the future.
"Sink Into My Sin" is a very short Persona 4 story that takes a glimpse into the possible relationship between Konishi Naoki and his sister Saki. It's based on a very lovely piece of art by a talented young lady who goes by Marureenu at deviantART. I wrote the story for her, in many ways, and for her art. She herself writes a beautiful little story in the description of the piece, and I urge you to take a look and read it; it's very thoughtful, and thought-provoking.
Normally, I am not one for the darker aspects of human emotion, certainly not in a love or sexual situation. I don't believe that incest as a real-world practice is healthy, but I also think that there can be a very particular kind of love between siblings that is untouched by any other relationship we have in our lives. Examining that in a story setting, though, is tricky. I never know whom I'm going to offend. Which is why I left the story off of FF.Net.
I don't like to say this, but when I read comments and stories on FF.Net, I often get the impression that there is not a lot of open-mindedness, or appreciation for the simple craft of a piece. Even the same-sex pairings are usually written so poorly, without thought for characterization or motivation for the situation, that I can't help but assume these are written by people who are very young, very inexperienced, very closed-minded, or some frightening combination of the three.
Now, that is not to say that everyone is not entitled to their own opinion. You are, and I am. But I've found that so many people have had a problem with the way that I portray just regular, consensual, adult sex in my stories, in all of its confounding human-ness (and realism!), that I can't even imagine what kind of shitstorm could occur if they read my Naoki/Saki piece. I already get dissed by readers because of the style in which I write, and the pairings I favor.
I'm very pleased with the story, myself. It serves its purpose, certainly, and I think it's one of my better vignettes, in terms of cadence and manner. And I love sharing my stories. But I just don't want to deal with the potential backlash from that one.
So, the more that I think about it, the more I'm considering not posting at FF.Net any longer. At least, not posting those stories with a more adult slant to them. The problem is that all of my stories take an adult slant. Not always sexually speaking, but from the perspective of being an adult, dealing with adult issues, which includes adult fears, desires, and conundrums; "Breaking Point" (the sequel story to "1 More Chance!") has those in spades...!
Anyway, if you've read "Sink Into My Sin" (or any of my stuff) and you enjoyed it, I thank you for your support, and for giving my work a chance. Be on the lookout for more stories in the future.
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