Done...and yet not.

Chapter 65 - the final chapter of 1 More Chance! - is finished. Actually, it's been finished for a couple of days, now. But I just haven't had the heart to post it.

One reason for that is that this is the last project I've got simmering on the burners, that I want to finish before NaNoWriMo hits in a few short days and I concentrate my energies on that.

Another reason is that I've still got the deviantART chapter versions of the story to post, from Chapter 59 on.

But the main reason is that the story has been such a huge part of my life that I just don't want to see it end.

I did sometimes wonder if I would ever finish this story, even though the entire basic plot has been laid out since I started writing back in February of 2009. There were stumbles along the way, of course, but ultimately I'm glad that I picked myself up and pushed myself over the finish line.

Will my remaining readers feel satisfied with the ending/epilogue? I don't know. (Only they can know that.) I hope so, naturally...but ultimately, regardless of the reaction, I have to take pride and comfort in the knowledge that I told this story the way that I wanted to, and finished it to my own satisfaction.

Chapters 64 and 65 complete the Persona/Shadow Arc, the one where Chie is forced to really look at herself and face the fears and anxieties and doubts that she has about her life. While the longest Arc by far (it's easily twice the size of the other three Arcs combined), in some ways it feels the most satisfying. For Chie, of course, because up until Arc IV, she was simply going on the same way she'd always done, leading with her heart and her kicks and never really stopping to consider the effect she has on the people around her. But for me, as well.

Arc III (the Duel) will probably always be my favorite, because it's about two people exploring their love for and trust in each other under deadline (and that stuff was fun to write), but this last Arc has meant so much to me personally, both as a writer working toward an end goal...and as a person who got to see so much of myself in my heroes. And in this whole process, I learned a little bit about myself, too.

I'm thinking I'll probably wait at least another day before putting up Chapter 65. I just want to savor the joy of this story a little while longer, before I put it out there for anyone and everyone to see. This one's mine, after all.

If you're still reading, I hope you enjoy. And I hope you'll be willing to come back again, someday. For another read through 1 More Chance!...or for another story that I may yet tell.

Thank you! (The FF.Net Favorites List)

Updated as of 2011 October 21 - I've also added some stories for those authors whom I follow and favor, too! Make sure to check them out!

As "1 More Chance!" winds down to its last chapter, I'd like to take a brief moment to thank everyone who's supported this story by putting it on their list of Favorite Stories on Fanfiction.Net.

One reviewer once commented that I was weird for writing a thank you note to him/her just for adding my story to a Favorite or Alert list, but I think that every little bit of support - even if it's just clicking on a button at the bottom of a page - is worth my acknowledgment.

My story is not a particularly popular one (I've come to grips with that), and I've lost a lot of regular readers/reviewers over the year-plus that I've been writing and updating it. But for those FF.Net readers who have taken even just that little bit of time to click that "Add Story to Favorites" button at the bottom of the page (and not delete it), I wanted to thank you. That you're willing to add my story to your list of Favorites (some small, some large) at all means a lot to me. I don't add a story to my Favorites list unless I really enjoy it, and it warms my writer's soul to know that you enjoy - or at least have enjoyed - my story enough to add it to your own.

So, thank you to

Ainmosni ("Borderline of Madness" discontinued?)
Akashic Torment ("Chocolate Kisses")
angelronin
Anisarian
Arroba Dotcom
Ashlee Dixon
Azrael Eternum
azrael76
bokasaurus
bouncyballparty

Cerebrate ("Shades of Red" discontinued?)
clownKuma
CrimsonMoon667
Defend.Divine
Deidre-Chie
Delirante
eggmiester
Enigma infinite
FallenAngel4556
Faust Persona

Feral Snake
Flafty
Geonitz
Hikaru Yamamoto
HMFarmergirl19
howls1
ihaveaclevername
Isoroku22
jcgonzo
KeRose

kinetic-cataclysm
Kisdota-The Freak Gamer ("Persona 4: Split Personalities")
Kitsuko Sakurai
Kitty Kyinsky
Kuya-Toph
Lady Cheshire ("Distance and Spaces" and "Pressure Cooker")
leaflett
Leslie4207
Liber-T.E.A
Loo'd

magiciankunai
margasanada
MelliSeesYou
MFAS
Mikhail the Wanderer
Miki-san4u
Minnimoto
Minstrel of Ages
MoMo the Mesh Monster ("Love of Penguins" and "The Brightest Green")
moyabomb ("All He Sees is Red")

ocean of milk
OceanLeviathan
patleon909
PlatonicTeddys
Renteka-Bond
Rpgking7
sapphiremage1106
Shade the Raven ("Far From Home")
shootdown20
Slasher71

Snake King
Stanko-B
Story Hunter
syruku
Takakuma7
Tarathiel
typecastwriter45
vegi89
Viktor Mayrin ("Divergent Branch")
Von Karma Jr.

Wesieboy
Xernuht
Yamikochan
Zarclonia
Zephyr.Camida
zero-damage ("A Very Good Influence" and "The Shortest Distance from A to B")
Ziek Aramaik
!

If I missed you, please let me know - this is simply the list that I see in my author's links, and you deserve the mention for your support!

Updates

It's been a while since I updated this - sorry.

For those of you still following, the penultimate chapter of "1 More Chance!" - Chapter 64, "I Am Thou" - went up a few weeks ago. Feedback has been pretty good (if low in numbers)...but what's really important to me is that I've been able to get so far in this story, writing it my own way.

I've had some discussions with some reviewers about what is coming next, and I'm not certain.

I am very interested in participating in NaNoWriMo again this year, and I have already plotted out most of that story. Then there are the Doctor Who universe short stories (most notably the Songbirds Series), that I've been having a real blast writing. Both of these projects get very little attention, but that's okay; they are just as personal to me as "1 More Chance!" has been, but I already know that the reader/fan base for these stories is/will be small, so I never get hung up on hit statistics or wondering what I'm doing wrong, that very few people are giving me any kind of feedback.

I'm still interested in writing the two sequels to "1 More Chance!"...but I don't know when I'll get to those. Not until next year, likely. The apparent resurgence of interest and excitement about Persona 4 from the anime and upcoming games may change my mind, but I rather doubt it. As I told one kind and generous reviewer, I'm not that interested in telling stories about TV adventures or murder mysteries. My stories are about relationships between friends and lovers and families, and the general fandom just doesn't seem to respond well to that. I mean, you just have to look at how relatively under the radar "1 More Chance!" is, compared to other stories out there.

That being said, I have to thank whoever "Sour Jack" is, for recommending 1MC! over on TV Tropes. I've long wanted recognition for my story over there [don't ask me why; it's rather a stupid and pointless thing for which to yearn], and I was thrilled to see that it is finally listed as a recommended fanfic.

Geez, that sounds lame.

Anyway, I hope that those of you who continue to read the story are continuing to enjoy it, as well. I have to write for myself and my own desires, but it's always nice to know that others are having fun with it, too.

For those interested

In the Author's Notes of the most recent chapter (63, "Just Now"), I wanted to make a note that I did not want in any way to belittle the terrible loss and devastation caused by the March 11 earthquake and the tsunami that followed. I suppose that no one (or, at least, no one who took the time to comment) took offense at the developments in the chapter, but the concern was genuine.

There are many times that art imitates life, and I've been lucky enough that it's done so in very wonderful ways. But I didn't want my art to be seen as capitalizing on a part of life that was horrifying; I've had enough of that in my own existence. The crucial moment in the story - where Chie has to deal with a sudden and unexpected possibility of loss - has its roots in reality in my own life. And the repercussions of that moment - the fear and anger - were difficult to write, because I'd experienced those feelings, myself. So if anyone wants to take issue with what I wrote, and the way I wrote it, I'm happy to have a mature discussion about it.

The story is what it is, though, and it tells what I want it to tell, so don't expect that part of it to change. But if you, dear reader, would like to go into more detail about this or any other part of the story, feel free to speak up.

Breaking Point

I recently had a conversation that got me to think more critically about my writing.

I love telling the story of Chie and her friends. And even though "1 More Chance!" is quickly coming to an end, there is a much larger tale that I can tell about my oft-maligned trio of protagonists (that being Chie, Yousuke, and Kuma). But this recent conversation made me start to rethink that larger story.

Not the plot of it, or where the characters are going, or what's eventually going to happen to them, because all of that was decided a long, long time ago.

But if that particular story should even be.

Basically, I was told to get my ass out of the safety of the fan fiction game and return to the professional circuit, shopping around spec chapters and writing letters to agents and editors who can possibly get my name on the shelves for real. I admit the thought is tempting, and I think I'm a much better writer now than I was when I first swam in that pool, almost ten years ago.

But I would miss this story. I would miss these characters. I would miss all of the wonderful and terrible things I've thought up and stressed over and plotted over the last two years. I've never felt such a connection to these people as I have with any other characters, before. Maybe it's because so much of me is in them already. But I feel as though dropping them now - with their stories only half-told - would be a shame. Perhaps not to you (because who are you, anyway? I don't even know), but to me.

Then again, I've fallen in love with some of my original characters, too, and the tales they had to tell. Maybe those stories deserve a return look, another pass by the editor.

Maybe it's time for me to grow up, to leave Chie and Yousuke and the rest behind.

Maybe I just need to look at all of the charming stories I've yet to tell for them - the stories of love and happiness, the stories of pain and heartbreak, the stories of life and of death - and just...give them to someone else. Because when it comes down to the words on the page, who are these people, except for figments of my imagination? Beautiful and wonderful and terrifying figments, figments I've come to love writing and love sharing...but figments nevertheless.

There have always been other stories about this particular universe that are more easily accepted, more universally loved, more simply appreciated than mine. And maybe I should have seen that writing on the wall a long time ago, should have realized that all of those lost readers was a sign that my time is done.

I don't know.

I would have enjoyed writing Yousuke's story, though. I would have enjoyed writing Kuma's story, too. And, who knows? There might still be time for them, some day.

But I already knew that the stories I want to tell with these characters aren't what people are looking for. So maybe I'll get lucky, and I'll find an audience out there for my own characters, living in those same stories of family and love.

I hope so.

Poll Closed, and Love Hotel "News"

Well, it's May, and the "Where do you prefer to read my stories" has closed. Thank you to the six (6?) folks who voted; it seems like the majority of you (6!) prefer to read my stories at bonusparts.com. I suppose that means I need to figure out an easy way that readers can leave feedback about the story if they choose, since the only option right now is to send me an email directly. Perhaps some sort of forum solution...? (If you have a good idea about this, please let me know!)

Chapter 62 ("Precious Mistakes") went up the second week in April, and while it didn't get a lot of traffic or comments (yet, anyway...though I average about 4-6 comments per chapter, so I'm not really expecting more), what feedback I did get was positive, which is always nice, especially since it's one of those "slower" chapters.

One author whose work I enjoy wrote about the love hotel Club Escapade, where the Investigation Team stays during their trip to Port Island in the game. It's a funny location, and can lead to lots of interesting situations, but I wanted to take a look at love hotels from a different perspective: not as a source of derision or eye-rolling, but someplace where a couple might really enjoy going, just to get some private time away from it all.

Finding the time to indulge in their baser desires is not a huge issue for my protagonists (because while they've got the equivalent of a 10-year-old girl sleeping in the room next door, it's still another room, and even if they do get a little energetic, it hasn't adversely affected Kuma any), but they also don't have the luxury of getting it on at any time of day they choose. (They do have jobs, after all.) So I wanted to show readers that love hotels - the right love hotels - can be pretty sweet, romantic places, after all.

I enjoyed doing the research for this one, too. :) Perusing information sites and many "rabuho" guest rooms and check-in counters was a fascinating eye-opener into a country and society where privacy is so highly valued, yet there's so very little of it to be had on a day-to-day basis.

I also wanted to take the opportunity of having Chie lead Yousuke in a way we haven't seen before: it's a gentle moment between them that's about intimacy - not just sex - and I wanted her to have the same kind of conversation about past romances that he had in Chapter 61 ("The Way It Is; or, Inertia"). It isn't about her asserting her dominance in a sexual situation; it's about her coming to him as an equal, giving of herself and looking for his acceptance. While it is a sex scene at its core, it's really meant to be much more than that.

I'm working on Chapter 63 right now (in between making pretty, shiny drawings over at deviantART), and it's making me a little bit sad that this story is coming to a close. But the bulk of the story has been moving toward these last moments, and I hope that you'll enjoy them.

You know, all six of you.

Sketchbook tangent

If you've been following my Twitter feed, or my deviantART account, you know that I've been spending some time getting back into sketching and coloring. The majority of this practice is related to the updated ideas I've got for the characters in "1 More Chance!" (If you're interested in any of these, click the deviantART link at the top of this page.)

That doesn't mean that I've given up with the writing, though. In fact, even the little feedback and support that I've gotten for my drawings has reignited my intense love for the characters and their situations, and, since I've started drawing again, I've come a long way in Chapter 62. It really helped me to push through a few very difficult sequences (I took out, replaced, and took out again one character for one sequence at least three times; that scene takes up several pages in my "unused" document!), and I think I'm at a place now where I'm pleased with the chapter as a whole. There is quite a bit of pluperfect description in there, though, just as a warning...but it hopefully works to help you understand what's going on, and why.

Hopefully, you like the drawings, just as - hopefully - you like the story. I enjoy writing and drawing them, and I'm happy to be able to share them with readers. I want readers to be able to understand at least a little bit the full experience I see in my head. :)

Reading, writing, and more

This blog seems to have become a place for me just to talk about my writing, lately...which is fine. It's been so long since a "real" update to my story that I doubt it much matters anymore (and very few people ask any questions, anyway). So, here I am, to talk about what's been going on.

Chapters 31 through 35 have all undergone some drastic rewrites. (Chapters 36 and 37 are currently still on the drawing board, but I know specifically where those edits need to occur; I've already made one pass at 37 since its original posting back in 2009.)

I went back to my "unused" document and ended up putting in a lot of my scrapped - if occasionally favorite - conversations and moments from the original and putting them back in, though usually in different locations within the story entire.

And I think it's a better story because of it.

It's not just longer, though that did happen, too, albeit mostly from the addition of some minor descriptions between dialogue. (There are a lot of additional "he said" and "she said" bits in there, now, to break up the flow of talking, and to give the characters a chance to breathe.) No, I think the new edits really help the story flow from a characterization and motivation point, more than anything else.

Of course, I'm the writer, so I would say that.

Now, it's time to get back to work on Chapter 62, which - for better or worse - examines the Chie/Yousuke relationship in a more closely intimate way than I've done in a while. For those of you still reading, that means that the chapter really deals with just the two of them, and where they are and are heading in their romance. Yes, other characters do show up, but now is the moment where the story will shift more pointedly back to the main couple in particular, since we've gotten to see how the relationships of their friends have affected them (in Chapters 59, 60, and 61).

I've said it before, I know, but I still really enjoy writing for these two. I want to keep writing for them. Chapter 62's delay has something to do with the deviantART edits, but it also has a lot to do with me thinking about how particular moments need to flow. (I've written once interaction at least a dozen times now, and I think I've finally gotten it right with this most recent pass!)

So, the next update is coming. Maybe sooner than you expect, though probably later than you hope. :)

And if you've read this far, thanks - as always - for your attention, your patience, and your support. You don't know how much it means to me to hear that I still manage to entertain you.

:)

More edits, more delays, and more...melancholy, I guess.

The newly-edited Chapter 33 ("Juxtaposition") (link goes to the Fanfiction.Net version) just went up a couple of days ago, and - like with Chapters 31 and 32 - I'm quite pleased with the changes made. They're more subtle than the edits made to Chapter 32 ("Listening Skills"), but no less significant to the telling of the story as a whole. It was great fun revisiting that somewhat-tricky conversation with Yukiko on the bleachers, but I do think that the new version is more indicative of what I was trying to get across the first time, but was not able to portray completely to my satisfaction, given the weekly deadlines.

That said, re-working these last couple of chapters really put a stop on my progress on Chapter 62. I'm just now starting to get back into swing with the characterizations of these characters the better part of a year on from where they are during the Duel/Arc III chapters, and it's taking some concentration to work through on the page where Chie and her friends are supposed to be. (Quite a bit of re-reading of chapters 59-61 going on, lately, to help that happen.) I'm looking forward to reaching the end of the Arc III rewrites, even though I think that's probably my favorite of all the plots, because it deals so intimately with the relationship between the two main protagonists.

I really enjoy seeing what new insights new readers bring to this story. A couple of my readers at deviantART are so sharp-eyed about details that it sometimes surprises me. Perhaps because they're used to critiquing visual art, so they pay attention to the little details. But it's been a long time since I've gotten that kind of in-depth, thoughtful feedback for any of my stories in quite a long time.

And it feels awesome.

Of course, to all good things there must come an end, and it's been quiet over there, of late. Quiet at FF.Net, too, despite the number of hits the story still gets.

Every time I see a spike in "interest" (I can only assume there's at least some interest, when there's a bump in hit statistics), I wonder if it's new readers or old ones, and what they think about the story. The wordcount is massive, so I'm guessing that individuals are not just killing time with reading...unless they've got a lot of it to kill. I also wonder what other stories they're reading, how they think my story measures up to others...all of that typical, self-doubting writer stuff....

I suppose that my time is better spent actually writing the story than worrying over it. But I still miss the old days, when I seemed to make more people happy with my story.

Maybe those days will come back, again. I like to hope so.

The saga of Chapter 32

Some of you may have noticed that I recently uploaded the rewritten version of Chapter 32, "Listening Skills" (link will take you to the Fanfiction.Net copy). I'm calling this one specifically a rewrite and not an edit, because I basically scrapped nearly the entire chapter and wrote it again from scratch. Some of the interactions remain the same...but I never quite liked the way that one of my favorite moments - that of the "internal music" - did not make it into the final product, in the original version. (For those of you who have read the updated chapter, it's the conversation between when Chie first comes to Yousuke at the cliff and when she goads him into the play fight.)

Originally, that mini-scene took place in Chapter 31, with Kazunori guiding Yousuke, and Chie stepping in later. And while I liked that moment, it took away from the interaction between the sparring fighters, and it pushed Yousuke forward too quickly, especially considering what occurs within the tent later in the chapter. So, I took the scene out, and it lingered in my unused document for many, many months. Until I started doing the edits for deviantART.

I had always really liked that "your music is inside of you" moment, and I looked forward to putting it back into the story. I think it works, especially as a bridging point from Yousuke's attitude in the beginning - where he's still sort of fighting against Chie's influence - to the end of the chapter, where he's become much more dedicated to his training, which extends throughout the rest of the arc.

Much of the feedback for the original Chapter 32 had also commented on how "choppy" the narrative felt, and I think the re-arrangement of scenes and conversations this time around does a better job of uniting the theme of paying attention to yourself (and to your friends, which is where the seed of Yukiko's issues gets planted in Chie's head).

Do you agree? Disagree? Do you appreciate the changes made to the story so far? Or am I just writing for myself, these days?

In the beginning....

I was feeling nostalgic the other day, while poking around in my archive files, and I came across the original 3K-word start to 1 More Chance!, back when it was just an idea for a romance story I was fooling around with, another throwaway one-shot of "just another something" to get me back into writing.

It was amusing to see the similarities that those few off-the-cuff pages had to the final product...but it was also very interesting to note the drastic changes that I'd made, by the time I'd plotted 1MC into a more large-scale tale. (Not "epic." My story is not "epic." Long, involved, hopefully resonant. But saying one's own story is "epic" is conceit beyond barriers.) It was really just a by-day exploration of how the characters had changed from being teenagers lost in a maze of relationships between each other...but there was so much between the lines that I had just glossed over...!

I sometimes wonder what would have become of my writing if I had just left that story as "2020 Visions" (because it was going to be set in 2020, nearly 10 years after the game; yes, I know it's a stupid title), and never written 1 More Chance! Maybe my tastes would have gone in a different direction. I doubt I would have gone back to Fanfiction.Net or deviantART for just a one-shot that, in hindsight, was sophomoric at best in its plot and characterization, and that might have been a shame. I've learned so much over the course of writing this story, and I'm excited to learn more: about my heritage, and looking at life from different perspectives, and getting into the heads of a few more characters.

I like to think that my interpretations of the characters have grown from what they were in the beginning, even of 1MC. Almost a year has passed for these individuals, after all, and some of them have changed dramatically over that time. I'm not sorry for what I did with any of them (well, except for maybe Kuma...Kuma will never be the same for me again, now...and the character has more changes coming!). But I do often wonder if I'm alone in my consideration of what happens after.

That said, I can't imagine anymore not caring so much about these characters and their lives, and their families' lives. That's one of the main reasons why I want to keep writing about them, even if it doesn't show up here or on one of the fandom sites. I just can't put my pen down from their stories.

I think I knew that even back when I first started scribbling out that 2020 story. But - just like my characters are sometimes guilty of the same thing - I didn't realize what I was getting into.

The direction of this life

Just a quick(?) note to let any interested parties know that I'm really pleased with the direction that this chapter (61) has taken. It's a little bit slower than I had expected it to be when I first started planning what would happen in these final chapters, but my storytelling pace has never been quick: I like examining emotions and relationships in detail.

I think that this slightly slower day between the characters examines some very important affirmations, confirmations, and realizations that are necessary to the main protagonist's development.

Chie's story ("1 More Chance!" that is) is really about learning: about herself and the people around her, and about her relationships with all of them. Her family and friends, her best friends, her lover, and even the pseudo-child figure in her life - they're all responsible for her growth, which I think is important for where the character is going. She's not the same woman I was writing all the way back in Chapter 1...but I think that's a good thing.

Maybe I have changed these characters so much that they're virtually unrecognizable from the personalities that they represented in the game, but I like to think that that's what happens to all of us as we grow older, and change, and learn about ourselves.

I can only hope that you agree, and that you continue to enjoy the stories I've got left to tell.

:D

I'm not going through -that- again!

Not that anybody really cares, but I've decided that the 8,000 words I'd written so far for the original Chapter 61 would be better served to take place after another day, so I've had to (temporarily) scrap the progress so far on the old Chapter 61, and instead push it to Chapter 62. Now, Chapter 61 is covering a slightly different topic than originally intended, but in much finer detail (it was initially just going to be a series of paragraphs telling the gist in flashback).

This development, of course, will push both the chapter and wordcount up, but I didn't want a repeat of the Chapter 50 situation once again.

If this story were just one story that I didn't really care about anymore, I would just finish the original draft of Chapter 61 and post it as-is. But I really like where this story has gone over the course of the two years(!) I've been working on it, and I want to write it the way that will make me most happy. It's a whole lot of denouement - I realize that, and I apologize for those of you who may find it boring - and resolution...but I think that it's good resolution. Especially in light of where the sequel stories are going, as currently plotted. (By the way, I'm still on the fence about where that story should go, if anywhere at all. Thoughts? Opinions? Would you just like to see "1 More Chance!" end, with no follow-up story at all? Or are you willing to sit through another friendship/drama/romance story about families and legacies?)

For those interested, I'm still updating the earlier chapters, as well...so it's not like I'm not doing any writing at all in the long breaks between chapters. (I'm up to Chapter 20, at this point.)

I may not have the most vocal readers, but I feel like I owe it to you loyal few who are still giving me the chance to tell my story the way I want to tell it, to let you know why there's been such a long stretch between updates.

More about rewrites

The rewrites/edits of "1 More Chance!" are now completed up to Chapter 14, "Past Transgressions." I just finished the rewrite for Chapter 15, "The Very Word," which will go up on Thursday (2010 Nov 11) or so.

If you're ever curious where I am in the current rewrites, you can always check my deviantArt gallery; the rewrites get posted in conjunction with the chapter updates at that site.

In some cases, the rewrites are just stylistic text choices. In the case of these latest two chapters mentioned above, though, there have been fairly significant dialogue changes and updates. One is a closer examination of Chie's past sexual escapades; the other is a more telling conversation with Yukiko about same. While this ups the wordcount quite a bit (about 1K words for each chapter), I do feel that it better presents the issues that I want to address within the plot...and why I feel that Yousuke is in a lot of ways the best choice for Chie, outside of a completely original character.

For old readers, there's no pressing reason why you'd need to read the rewritten chapters. Although, if you do choose to do so, I hope that you enjoy and appreciate the changes that have been made. :)

One is my name....

I always feel like a jerk when I comment on another person's story, and they use the English version "Yosuke" while I use the Japanese "Yousuke." I'm sorry, but I can't un-train myself to spell it that way. Right now, I had to go back three times and write it without the first "u".

As it states in the first chapter, and on every author's page/story intro page I've created for sharing "1 More Chance!", my story is taken from the Japanese version of the game. In that version, his name is spelled Hanamura Yousuke: 花村陽介. Even Kuma (Teddie) calls him Yo-suke ヨースケ, with a long "o" sound. If you play the Japanese version of the game, whenever Kuma calls him by name (which is a lot, especially when he's complaining about something), you will see "ヨースケ！" Or, sometimes, "ヨースケエエエエエエ！" when Kuma is being whiny. (I tried to hearken back to those moments a little bit in Chapter 54 ("In the Shadow of Destiny"), when Kuma calls to Yousuke for help.)

I know that Atlus USA translated his name as Yosuke. That's fine. To the average person's ear (and to the English-speaking person's ear especially), you don't really hear a difference. But Yosuke is not the same as Yousuke:
Write them out one at a time, and you get this:
Yosuke - よすけ　becomes 世介。
Yousuke - ようすけ　becomes 陽介。

On the series Star Trek: The Next Generation, the character of Data pronounced his name as "DAY-tuh". Doctor Pulaski attempts to call him "Deh-tuh", the other pronunciation of the word, data. When Data corrects her on the pronunciation, she asks him what difference it makes. Data the android replies, "One is my name, the other is not."

Okay, I know I'm starting to sound like a pompous ass about this, so let me be clear: I don't care that most people write his name as Yosuke; Atlus USA chose to translate his name that way, for whatever reason. That doesn't bother me. But I am not wrong when I write it as Yousuke.

So. Can't we just both be right in this case?

Reasonable delays

I know there's been a significant delay between Chapters 59 and 60 (the coming chapter), but for those of you following on Twitter, deviantArt, LiveJournal, or Fanfiction.Net, you'll notice that I have not been completely slacking off with my writing.

I recently took part in the deviantArt Persona-pairings week, to which I submitted two short vignettes: "Firebrand" focusing on Yukiko and Souji, and "I Can't" focusing on Kanji and Rise. Both of these stories - like "1000 Words" - have links to the main "1 More Chance!" story. For those readers with particularly sharp eyes, you'll notice a very significant link between the events in "Firebrand" and Chapter 21 ("Just Like Magic"). And while "I Can't" does not have any direct correlation to events presented in "1 More Chance!", it does paint a pretty close picture of how I imagine Kanji and Rise to have come together as more than just friends.

That said, I had to take a bit of a breather with Chapter 60 (tentatively titled "Futures Imperfect"), to do some more in-depth research into Shinto than I had anticipated. Luckily, I have personal experience on which to draw, but it's still taken me some time to get a few of the (admittedly minor) details incorporated into the story for realistic flow of events. This chapter in particular I feel should read relatively true to life, and it's taking me time to push through that. (Yes, I've taken some gross liberties already, notably with Chie's and Yousuke's roles, but I also wanted to open up the traditional ceremony so that the A Team - and the reader - can see and experience the wedding for themselves. Naoto gets a bit of an upgrade, too, but I figured her situation was warranted by her precise personality and love of order.)

I did already cut quite a bit from the chapter (the gleeful drunk scene; the Rise/Kuma explanation; a minor sex scene recap), but I want to present this day as faithfully as I can, given the circumstances of it being these particular characters getting married. There's already a lot of talking and a lot of set-up, but I feel like it's worth it to present the story that I want to tell. If you're not a fan of that slow-moving denouement, I apologize that you'll be bored (potentially), but I don't apologize for writing the story the way that I want to do it.

I still hope to have Chapter 60 ready for reading before the full 2-month mark since Chapter 59 went up (8/18/2010), but I do hope you understand the issues involved with the delay.

Thanks!

Moving day?

For those of you following my Twitter, my last 2 Tweets were:
"[bonusparts_fic] is thinking that maybe FF.net is not really the place for me anymore. Perhaps not for the sequel story, at any rate."
and
"I like to write about human relationships, family, all that stuff. Doesn't seem to be much interest in those topics over there."

The reason? Of late, I've been seeing a lot of "novelizations" (not really; they're more like adaptations) of either Persona 3, Persona 4, or Persona 3 PSP. The other popular story ideas seem to deal with the more adventurous and fantastic (darker?) themes of the games: Shadows, Midnight Channel/Dark Hour, death/murders, and kicking ass in "epic" tales.

That's all well and good (and if you like those kinds of stories, you should feel lucky that there are so many writers who are examining those aspects of the story right now)...but it's just not where I'm at in my stories. As I mentioned in my Tweets, I really like to write about people. Maybe that makes me a prosaic, semi-glorified artist of the mundane; I don't know. But I enjoy thinking about and writing about the issues that affect me and the people I know, and I try to reflect that in the conflicts of my characters.

I'd really like to be able to share the sequel story to "1 More Chance!" with readers, but I just don't know if Fanfiction.Net is the right place to do so. The main reason to post at FF.Net is for the valuable(?) feedback from readers. But if a story doesn't have the potential to get feedback (because it's veering off in another direction from the mainstream; I'd like to think it's not because the story sucks), then there isn't a lot of point to putting it on FF.Net; I could just as easily post it somewhere else, like on my personal site, or deviantArt, or LiveJournal. Of course, those sites don't have great feedback options, either, but at least I wouldn't look at the hit statistics and wonder if people are liking the story or not, and if not, why not.

Or maybe I need to rethink writing the sequel as a Persona 4 story at all, despite all of the planning and plotting I've done. (That would certainly make "1 More Chance!" feel more complete in my head, even with the epilogue.)

Or maybe I need to just write the story on my computer, and keep it only for myself there, where I won't stress about stupid stuff like feedback and hit statistics and who's updating more frequently than I am. (Yeah, I find myself doing that, and then I kick myself for taking so long to post updates, even when I know that's stupid because everyone works at his or her own pace.)

...Except that I like sharing stories. I don't post everything I've written to places like FF.Net or dA because I think some of my earlier writing is not up to snuff, and I don't feel like going back and editing it to a point of personal acceptance. But when I did share even those lesser stories, I liked that feeling of sharing. I liked making readers think, or smile, or just relive a little bit of what it felt like to read that comic, or watch that movie, or play that game. I want to share my vision of these characters with the fandom at large.

I don't know.

Maybe I'm wrong.

Maybe there is a place for great big, convoluted stories like the one I want to tell.

Maybe readers do appreciate a more mundane approach to a universe ordinarily populated with the anomalous and profane.

Maybe I should just stick with FF.Net because it's what I know best, and at least it gives me something of an outlet for my writing.

And maybe I'm just thinking too much about this on a Tuesday night.

We'll see.

All the Little People

One of the things that I love about writing is being able to look at and listen to family and friends, and incorporate some of their personalities into the characters that I create. Working in an established universe (such as fan fiction does) limits this to some degree, since the writer usually tries to adhere pretty closely to a character's original personality. There is some leeway here, of course, because every writer wants to make characters his or her own...and because many times the characters aren't quite as fleshed-out as writers would like them to be, which is the main spurring reason for many a fan fiction story. (This is relatively arguable depending on the fandom, but even some exhaustively-written universes, such as the Tolkien Lord of the Rings universe, can be open to some interpretation. I personally don't believe in radical changes to an established universe or character personalities - and I hope that shows through in my stories - but the very nature of fan fiction is to take the parts you like and leave off the parts you don't like and create your own story from there.)

Since writing original fiction for the last several years, I've taken to populating the edges of even my fan fiction environments with original characters. For the most part these are pretty minor characters, but I always find it fun and interesting to look at the people who surround me and build a new character from that. Usually, I take basic inspirations from names of family or friends, then build off of a very broad personality trait (demure, sassy, spoiled, reserved), and then branch off with that character's personality and motivations something that is - hopefully - believable.

There are so many minor characters in "1 More Chance!" that draw inspiration from the people I know in real life. Many of them really did start out as just names on a piece of paper, but over the course of the story have become their own individual entities. Here's a list of some of them:

Satonaka Kazunori and Ryoko (Chie's grandfather and deceased grandmother): Married couple and friends in Japan, who were very hospitable and welcoming the last time I was there.
Satonaka Hitoshi and Hiroko (Chie's father and mother): Named for my uncle and aunt, who still live in Japan. Not at all like Chie's parents, really, but I liked the alliteration of their names.
Satonaka Shoji (Chie's uncle): Named for my own uncle.
Hanamura Misato (Yousuke's next-eldest sister): A transfer student from Japan who lived with us when I was a teenager. I remember her as quiet and polite, much like Misato in the story.
The Taniguchis (flower stall owners): Friends of the family, who live in Kobe (which is one of the reasons why I chose that city for Kou's placement).
The Shimazawas (kissa-ten/coffee shoppe owners): Friends of the family, who live and run a music store(!) in Kyoto, my second hometown.
Ogiso Primary School and Izutsu Middle School (where Nanako and Kimiyo go to school; Chie works at both Izutsu and Yasogami High School): Two of our family names.
Minamiguchi-no-Futago (kids' line of clothes): The name means "The Minamiguchi Twins", and is so named in honor of my cousin, who just had twins this past summer!
Isa-san (Hanamuras' driver): Friend of the family, who for some reason always seems to get stuck driving us to the airport for our return flights to the States!
Ito Tomohiro (Chie's old sparring buddy): Named for another friend of the family, a contemporary of mine, with whom I sometimes got the feeling my parents were trying to set me up. :D

Still more names are derived from fictional sources, or from real people whom I don't necessarily know, but whose work I respect and enjoy:
Hanamura Hitomi (Yousuke's middle sister): One of the many online alter-egos, this one for the rhythm games Guitar Hero and Rock Band. Cowboy-hat-wearing guitarist, which is her main reason for being the way she is.
Hanamura Ryuhei (Yousuke's father): Named for director Kitamura Ryuhei, whose stylish action flicks have been a great source of inspiration for some of my crazier Mayonaka fight scenes.
Officer Kibuishi (Chie's coworker): Named for Kazu Kibuishi, comics artist and creator, whose books line many a shelf in my library.

The main characters draw inspiration from friends and family, too, though it tends to be more subtle, as they are largely amalgamations of many different people as well as facets of myself (which is why, I suppose, I take such joy in writing them).

A writer is not just writing words on a piece of paper, sentences that come out of a character's mouth. My characters feel like real people to me, because I see in them parts of people I know, and parts of myself. Hopefully, you see them as real people, too.

Rewrites

For those of you who've seen my Fanfiction.Net Author Profile page, you may notice how I mentioned that I've been rewriting/editing many of the "1 More Chance!" chapters. Some of these edits are pretty minor, such as fixing particular honorifics, reassigning dialogue, and making a few adjustments to the flow of the story. Others - such as the rewrite of Chapter 37 ("Agonies and Thrills") - have significant changes to the layout of the text itself.

My goal with these rewrites is to create a more complete and worthwhile story. Many of the chapters after Chapter 39 ("Let Go, Hold On") or so, I was writing pretty much on-the-fly, week-to-week. I'd write all day Thursday through Sunday or Monday (sometimes Tuesday), and then give a quick read-through/edit on Tuesday and early Wednesday, before posting the chapter. (Now you know why I suffered from burn-out.)

I think that a lot of chapters are okay and still stand up pretty well: they present the right issues and get the main points across well enough. But as a continuous work in progress, I also get the urge to go back, re-read, and (of course) re-write parts of it. That's one of the great things about this electronic medium, and about the nature of fan fiction. It never gets published, so it never sits on a shelf; it can change as its writer sees fit.

Some authors post rewrites as completely different stories, but it's my belief that that's what the editing function is for. You won't see a separate rewrite of "1 More Chance!" either at Fanfiction.Net or at BonusParts KINK, unless I ever decide to do a T-rated version. Aside from that, edits are just that: edits. I'm not deleting and uploading new chapters as replacements, so (perhaps unfortunately) old readers likely won't notice the changes, unless they have a great memory for a scene's text and happen to stumble upon the rewritten chapter on their own. New readers, of course, will come to the chapters fresh and - hopefully - find them an enjoyable (more enjoyable?) read for the changes made.

All of the myriad changes are too many to list, but if readers are interested, I can post some notes for those chapters where I've made more-than-incidental edits, to either prose, plot, or flow.

Souji, Kuma, and the Lament of Het-Supporters

Here's a comment that came in from regular reviewer Kisdota-The Freak Gamer, regarding Chapter 59 ("A Little Night Music"); I thought I'd share part of my reply. Some spoilers through Chapter 59, so if you want to read, you'll have to highlight below.

Q:...It's nice to read a chapter that doesn't have Souji being a total douche.

Pairing up everyone like that was good, I know that there's some people who like the idea of Rise with Teddie, I know she's a chick and that's not what you implied but I know you'll do good with alot [sic] of the straight couple fans, which is possibly a small portion of your readers....

A: Well, Souji kind of had to be a douche for a while there - hubris is his sin - in order for him to grow into the person that you're starting to see in this chapter. He still plays a large mentor/leader role for the characters coming up, but it's a position that he moves into more organically after facing his Shadow, rather than the others just falling into place behind him for sake of ease. I like writing this Souji, who's become a product of the people around him, equally influenced by their perspectives and experiences as they are by him. Hopefully, that comes out clearly in this chapter.

I didn't intentionally put the characters into pairs, actually. It just sort of happened. Rise and Kuma's bond of friendship becomes important to Kuma's development later on, as the story moves forward (though not for a while yet; I still have to get through the first sequel). There's no intended implication that Rise and Kuma are acting as a couple, here; I tried to convey that with the farewells at the train station. Rise's really more a mentor to her, than anything else. And Yousuke's reluctance to let Kuma grow up should be taken as just how childlike she still is.

You're right that I do often feel in the minority supporting a heterosexual couple(s) in my timeline. I don't have a problem with the slash stories, I just don't see most of the friendships and relationships working out that way. Even Kanji, Naoto, and Rise - none of whom have a problem with homosexuality - fall into a category of their own rather than being one way or the other.
- - -

There's really not a question here, but I find it interesting when readers decide to focus on an aspect of a character (like Souji), who I've tried to move into a growth position based on what has occurred to him over the course of the story. I realize that what I did through the chapters of the final arc/Part IV ("I'll Face Myself") rubbed some readers the wrong way, but in all honesty it was in many ways it was just as much about how Chie and her friends reacted to the situation as it was about what was going on with Souji.

Then there's the subject of Kuma.

I'm plotting the sequel story now (both of them, as I've considered my timeline to work best as a trilogy in order to touch on the three important characters whose voices I know best), and I cannot for the life of me see my Kuma/Kumada-chan as anything other than a girl. My original plan for Kuma oh-so long ago was for her/him to be something completely different at the outset. Kuma will still get to step into that role (as things are currently plotted, of course - we all know how that can change!), but I don't think that my alternate universe of Persona 4 will ever be quite the same for changing Kuma's gender to a female. I love her so much that way, though, that I just can't stomach changing her back to a boy, as much as others might want me to stay true to what the canon story is about.

And then there's the issue of the sexuality. The sequel story investigates the characters' sexuality a bit more, since the characters by that time will be around 25, more established in their lives, and less - shall we say - purely experimental. I'm looking forward to tackling those kinds of issues, especially as they relate to young adults and what they think is "proper", "right", "acceptable", and even just plain "me."

I'm still collecting feedback on the latest chapter, and I'm always interested to hear what readers think. Not as much for Chapter 59 yet, but it's got to be more about my feelings, right?