Poll Closed, and Love Hotel "News"

Well, it's May, and the "Where do you prefer to read my stories" has closed. Thank you to the six (6?) folks who voted; it seems like the majority of you (6!) prefer to read my stories at bonusparts.com. I suppose that means I need to figure out an easy way that readers can leave feedback about the story if they choose, since the only option right now is to send me an email directly. Perhaps some sort of forum solution...? (If you have a good idea about this, please let me know!)

Chapter 62 ("Precious Mistakes") went up the second week in April, and while it didn't get a lot of traffic or comments (yet, anyway...though I average about 4-6 comments per chapter, so I'm not really expecting more), what feedback I did get was positive, which is always nice, especially since it's one of those "slower" chapters.

One author whose work I enjoy wrote about the love hotel Club Escapade, where the Investigation Team stays during their trip to Port Island in the game. It's a funny location, and can lead to lots of interesting situations, but I wanted to take a look at love hotels from a different perspective: not as a source of derision or eye-rolling, but someplace where a couple might really enjoy going, just to get some private time away from it all.

Finding the time to indulge in their baser desires is not a huge issue for my protagonists (because while they've got the equivalent of a 10-year-old girl sleeping in the room next door, it's still another room, and even if they do get a little energetic, it hasn't adversely affected Kuma any), but they also don't have the luxury of getting it on at any time of day they choose. (They do have jobs, after all.) So I wanted to show readers that love hotels - the right love hotels - can be pretty sweet, romantic places, after all.

I enjoyed doing the research for this one, too. :) Perusing information sites and many "rabuho" guest rooms and check-in counters was a fascinating eye-opener into a country and society where privacy is so highly valued, yet there's so very little of it to be had on a day-to-day basis.

I also wanted to take the opportunity of having Chie lead Yousuke in a way we haven't seen before: it's a gentle moment between them that's about intimacy - not just sex - and I wanted her to have the same kind of conversation about past romances that he had in Chapter 61 ("The Way It Is; or, Inertia"). It isn't about her asserting her dominance in a sexual situation; it's about her coming to him as an equal, giving of herself and looking for his acceptance. While it is a sex scene at its core, it's really meant to be much more than that.

I'm working on Chapter 63 right now (in between making pretty, shiny drawings over at deviantART), and it's making me a little bit sad that this story is coming to a close. But the bulk of the story has been moving toward these last moments, and I hope that you'll enjoy them.

You know, all six of you.

Sketchbook tangent

If you've been following my Twitter feed, or my deviantART account, you know that I've been spending some time getting back into sketching and coloring. The majority of this practice is related to the updated ideas I've got for the characters in "1 More Chance!" (If you're interested in any of these, click the deviantART link at the top of this page.)

That doesn't mean that I've given up with the writing, though. In fact, even the little feedback and support that I've gotten for my drawings has reignited my intense love for the characters and their situations, and, since I've started drawing again, I've come a long way in Chapter 62. It really helped me to push through a few very difficult sequences (I took out, replaced, and took out again one character for one sequence at least three times; that scene takes up several pages in my "unused" document!), and I think I'm at a place now where I'm pleased with the chapter as a whole. There is quite a bit of pluperfect description in there, though, just as a warning...but it hopefully works to help you understand what's going on, and why.

Hopefully, you like the drawings, just as - hopefully - you like the story. I enjoy writing and drawing them, and I'm happy to be able to share them with readers. I want readers to be able to understand at least a little bit the full experience I see in my head. :)

Reading, writing, and more

This blog seems to have become a place for me just to talk about my writing, lately...which is fine. It's been so long since a "real" update to my story that I doubt it much matters anymore (and very few people ask any questions, anyway). So, here I am, to talk about what's been going on.

Chapters 31 through 35 have all undergone some drastic rewrites. (Chapters 36 and 37 are currently still on the drawing board, but I know specifically where those edits need to occur; I've already made one pass at 37 since its original posting back in 2009.)

I went back to my "unused" document and ended up putting in a lot of my scrapped - if occasionally favorite - conversations and moments from the original and putting them back in, though usually in different locations within the story entire.

And I think it's a better story because of it.

It's not just longer, though that did happen, too, albeit mostly from the addition of some minor descriptions between dialogue. (There are a lot of additional "he said" and "she said" bits in there, now, to break up the flow of talking, and to give the characters a chance to breathe.) No, I think the new edits really help the story flow from a characterization and motivation point, more than anything else.

Of course, I'm the writer, so I would say that.

Now, it's time to get back to work on Chapter 62, which - for better or worse - examines the Chie/Yousuke relationship in a more closely intimate way than I've done in a while. For those of you still reading, that means that the chapter really deals with just the two of them, and where they are and are heading in their romance. Yes, other characters do show up, but now is the moment where the story will shift more pointedly back to the main couple in particular, since we've gotten to see how the relationships of their friends have affected them (in Chapters 59, 60, and 61).

I've said it before, I know, but I still really enjoy writing for these two. I want to keep writing for them. Chapter 62's delay has something to do with the deviantART edits, but it also has a lot to do with me thinking about how particular moments need to flow. (I've written once interaction at least a dozen times now, and I think I've finally gotten it right with this most recent pass!)

So, the next update is coming. Maybe sooner than you expect, though probably later than you hope. :)

And if you've read this far, thanks - as always - for your attention, your patience, and your support. You don't know how much it means to me to hear that I still manage to entertain you.

:)

Reality hits

Writing these stories seems kind of pointless to me, right now, in light of the natural disasters that struck Japan today. Luckily, all of my friends and family seem to be safe and all right (thank goodness!), but there is still damage and death in the country. Japan is a very small country in comparison to most of the rest of what we somewhat-selfishly call the "First World"...but it is still full of a lot of people, who have lives and loved ones and families.

It makes me feel stupid, to be writing silly stories about my second home, when I could be doing so much more than that to really make a difference. I've donated to the Red Cross, which has a Disaster Alert page set up, but it still feels hollow.

I don't really know what else to do, though, except continue. Prayers are said, words and messages of encouragement are sent, and funds are donated where I can do so.

I guess I'll just let the insight of my characters speak for me, in this case:
Let the people you care about, know that. Today. Because you never know what tomorrow will bring.

More edits, more delays, and more...melancholy, I guess.

The newly-edited Chapter 33 ("Juxtaposition") (link goes to the Fanfiction.Net version) just went up a couple of days ago, and - like with Chapters 31 and 32 - I'm quite pleased with the changes made. They're more subtle than the edits made to Chapter 32 ("Listening Skills"), but no less significant to the telling of the story as a whole. It was great fun revisiting that somewhat-tricky conversation with Yukiko on the bleachers, but I do think that the new version is more indicative of what I was trying to get across the first time, but was not able to portray completely to my satisfaction, given the weekly deadlines.

That said, re-working these last couple of chapters really put a stop on my progress on Chapter 62. I'm just now starting to get back into swing with the characterizations of these characters the better part of a year on from where they are during the Duel/Arc III chapters, and it's taking some concentration to work through on the page where Chie and her friends are supposed to be. (Quite a bit of re-reading of chapters 59-61 going on, lately, to help that happen.) I'm looking forward to reaching the end of the Arc III rewrites, even though I think that's probably my favorite of all the plots, because it deals so intimately with the relationship between the two main protagonists.

I really enjoy seeing what new insights new readers bring to this story. A couple of my readers at deviantART are so sharp-eyed about details that it sometimes surprises me. Perhaps because they're used to critiquing visual art, so they pay attention to the little details. But it's been a long time since I've gotten that kind of in-depth, thoughtful feedback for any of my stories in quite a long time.

And it feels awesome.

Of course, to all good things there must come an end, and it's been quiet over there, of late. Quiet at FF.Net, too, despite the number of hits the story still gets.

Every time I see a spike in "interest" (I can only assume there's at least some interest, when there's a bump in hit statistics), I wonder if it's new readers or old ones, and what they think about the story. The wordcount is massive, so I'm guessing that individuals are not just killing time with reading...unless they've got a lot of it to kill. I also wonder what other stories they're reading, how they think my story measures up to others...all of that typical, self-doubting writer stuff....

I suppose that my time is better spent actually writing the story than worrying over it. But I still miss the old days, when I seemed to make more people happy with my story.

Maybe those days will come back, again. I like to hope so.

The saga of Chapter 32

Some of you may have noticed that I recently uploaded the rewritten version of Chapter 32, "Listening Skills" (link will take you to the Fanfiction.Net copy). I'm calling this one specifically a rewrite and not an edit, because I basically scrapped nearly the entire chapter and wrote it again from scratch. Some of the interactions remain the same...but I never quite liked the way that one of my favorite moments - that of the "internal music" - did not make it into the final product, in the original version. (For those of you who have read the updated chapter, it's the conversation between when Chie first comes to Yousuke at the cliff and when she goads him into the play fight.)

Originally, that mini-scene took place in Chapter 31, with Kazunori guiding Yousuke, and Chie stepping in later. And while I liked that moment, it took away from the interaction between the sparring fighters, and it pushed Yousuke forward too quickly, especially considering what occurs within the tent later in the chapter. So, I took the scene out, and it lingered in my unused document for many, many months. Until I started doing the edits for deviantART.

I had always really liked that "your music is inside of you" moment, and I looked forward to putting it back into the story. I think it works, especially as a bridging point from Yousuke's attitude in the beginning - where he's still sort of fighting against Chie's influence - to the end of the chapter, where he's become much more dedicated to his training, which extends throughout the rest of the arc.

Much of the feedback for the original Chapter 32 had also commented on how "choppy" the narrative felt, and I think the re-arrangement of scenes and conversations this time around does a better job of uniting the theme of paying attention to yourself (and to your friends, which is where the seed of Yukiko's issues gets planted in Chie's head).

Do you agree? Disagree? Do you appreciate the changes made to the story so far? Or am I just writing for myself, these days?

Adult themes - Are you ready?

Those of you who follow my writing at deviantART or Bonusparts.com will notice that there are a few pieces posted there that I haven't posted at Fanfiction.Net. Many of these stories are simply old and just not worth the effort of converting and uploading to FF.Net, or (in one case, at least) exist under someone else's account. But there is one story that I purposefully have left off of FF.Net, for a very specific reason.

"Sink Into My Sin" is a very short Persona 4 story that takes a glimpse into the possible relationship between Konishi Naoki and his sister Saki. It's based on a very lovely piece of art by a talented young lady who goes by Marureenu at deviantART. I wrote the story for her, in many ways, and for her art. She herself writes a beautiful little story in the description of the piece, and I urge you to take a look and read it; it's very thoughtful, and thought-provoking.

Normally, I am not one for the darker aspects of human emotion, certainly not in a love or sexual situation. I don't believe that incest as a real-world practice is healthy, but I also think that there can be a very particular kind of love between siblings that is untouched by any other relationship we have in our lives. Examining that in a story setting, though, is tricky. I never know whom I'm going to offend. Which is why I left the story off of FF.Net.

I don't like to say this, but when I read comments and stories on FF.Net, I often get the impression that there is not a lot of open-mindedness, or appreciation for the simple craft of a piece. Even the same-sex pairings are usually written so poorly, without thought for characterization or motivation for the situation, that I can't help but assume these are written by people who are very young, very inexperienced, very closed-minded, or some frightening combination of the three.

Now, that is not to say that everyone is not entitled to their own opinion. You are, and I am. But I've found that so many people have had a problem with the way that I portray just regular, consensual, adult sex in my stories, in all of its confounding human-ness (and realism!), that I can't even imagine what kind of shitstorm could occur if they read my Naoki/Saki piece. I already get dissed by readers because of the style in which I write, and the pairings I favor.

I'm very pleased with the story, myself. It serves its purpose, certainly, and I think it's one of my better vignettes, in terms of cadence and manner. And I love sharing my stories. But I just don't want to deal with the potential backlash from that one.

So, the more that I think about it, the more I'm considering not posting at FF.Net any longer. At least, not posting those stories with a more adult slant to them. The problem is that all of my stories take an adult slant. Not always sexually speaking, but from the perspective of being an adult, dealing with adult issues, which includes adult fears, desires, and conundrums; "Breaking Point" (the sequel story to "1 More Chance!") has those in spades...!

Anyway, if you've read "Sink Into My Sin" (or any of my stuff) and you enjoyed it, I thank you for your support, and for giving my work a chance. Be on the lookout for more stories in the future.