Preparation and Disbelief

Originally posted just to my NaNoWriMo progress LiveJournal 'blog, but the gist of this applies to all writing. Of late, I've seen authors on Fanfiction.Net who also claim to be simply writing as they go, and that...well...irks me.

Wait, wait, wait-! I know that the spirit of NaNoWriMo is about having fun with writing, not being overly concerned with perfected plot and editing...but are people really just writing as they go, with no plan whatsoever? Just because you can't start writing until November 1 does not mean that you can't be doing research, and character studies, and outlining your plot ideas in the meantime, before the starter's pistol goes off. That's what writers do, folks!

I realize that many of us are in this just for the sprinting feeling of getting those words on the page...but a story still has rules: it is not, contrary to what some might say, just a series of words strung together. There should be conflict, and character development and interaction, and a realized world. There should be a plot and a progression of events that satisfies said plot. There should be emotion (or, alternately, a lack of it, if that is your point). And growth. And a power in your words that will make those letters on the page actually mean something to somebody someday.

I am all for finding the gloriously glee in hitting a benchmark of words - that is a wonderfully fulfilling accomplishment that I know I've felt and hope other people experience, too. But don't mistake a wordcount for a story.

Your characters can lead your story, certainly; it is their story, after all. But you're the writer. You should at least have a general idea of where they're going to go, even if they do hijack you along the way.

Done...and yet not.

Chapter 65 - the final chapter of 1 More Chance! - is finished. Actually, it's been finished for a couple of days, now. But I just haven't had the heart to post it.

One reason for that is that this is the last project I've got simmering on the burners, that I want to finish before NaNoWriMo hits in a few short days and I concentrate my energies on that.

Another reason is that I've still got the deviantART chapter versions of the story to post, from Chapter 59 on.

But the main reason is that the story has been such a huge part of my life that I just don't want to see it end.

I did sometimes wonder if I would ever finish this story, even though the entire basic plot has been laid out since I started writing back in February of 2009. There were stumbles along the way, of course, but ultimately I'm glad that I picked myself up and pushed myself over the finish line.

Will my remaining readers feel satisfied with the ending/epilogue? I don't know. (Only they can know that.) I hope so, naturally...but ultimately, regardless of the reaction, I have to take pride and comfort in the knowledge that I told this story the way that I wanted to, and finished it to my own satisfaction.

Chapters 64 and 65 complete the Persona/Shadow Arc, the one where Chie is forced to really look at herself and face the fears and anxieties and doubts that she has about her life. While the longest Arc by far (it's easily twice the size of the other three Arcs combined), in some ways it feels the most satisfying. For Chie, of course, because up until Arc IV, she was simply going on the same way she'd always done, leading with her heart and her kicks and never really stopping to consider the effect she has on the people around her. But for me, as well.

Arc III (the Duel) will probably always be my favorite, because it's about two people exploring their love for and trust in each other under deadline (and that stuff was fun to write), but this last Arc has meant so much to me personally, both as a writer working toward an end goal...and as a person who got to see so much of myself in my heroes. And in this whole process, I learned a little bit about myself, too.

I'm thinking I'll probably wait at least another day before putting up Chapter 65. I just want to savor the joy of this story a little while longer, before I put it out there for anyone and everyone to see. This one's mine, after all.

If you're still reading, I hope you enjoy. And I hope you'll be willing to come back again, someday. For another read through 1 More Chance!...or for another story that I may yet tell.

Thank you! (The FF.Net Favorites List)

Updated as of 2011 October 21 - I've also added some stories for those authors whom I follow and favor, too! Make sure to check them out!

As "1 More Chance!" winds down to its last chapter, I'd like to take a brief moment to thank everyone who's supported this story by putting it on their list of Favorite Stories on Fanfiction.Net.

One reviewer once commented that I was weird for writing a thank you note to him/her just for adding my story to a Favorite or Alert list, but I think that every little bit of support - even if it's just clicking on a button at the bottom of a page - is worth my acknowledgment.

My story is not a particularly popular one (I've come to grips with that), and I've lost a lot of regular readers/reviewers over the year-plus that I've been writing and updating it. But for those FF.Net readers who have taken even just that little bit of time to click that "Add Story to Favorites" button at the bottom of the page (and not delete it), I wanted to thank you. That you're willing to add my story to your list of Favorites (some small, some large) at all means a lot to me. I don't add a story to my Favorites list unless I really enjoy it, and it warms my writer's soul to know that you enjoy - or at least have enjoyed - my story enough to add it to your own.

So, thank you to

Ainmosni ("Borderline of Madness" discontinued?)
Akashic Torment ("Chocolate Kisses")
angelronin
Anisarian
Arroba Dotcom
Ashlee Dixon
Azrael Eternum
azrael76
bokasaurus
bouncyballparty

Cerebrate ("Shades of Red" discontinued?)
clownKuma
CrimsonMoon667
Defend.Divine
Deidre-Chie
Delirante
eggmiester
Enigma infinite
FallenAngel4556
Faust Persona

Feral Snake
Flafty
Geonitz
Hikaru Yamamoto
HMFarmergirl19
howls1
ihaveaclevername
Isoroku22
jcgonzo
KeRose

kinetic-cataclysm
Kisdota-The Freak Gamer ("Persona 4: Split Personalities")
Kitsuko Sakurai
Kitty Kyinsky
Kuya-Toph
Lady Cheshire ("Distance and Spaces" and "Pressure Cooker")
leaflett
Leslie4207
Liber-T.E.A
Loo'd

magiciankunai
margasanada
MelliSeesYou
MFAS
Mikhail the Wanderer
Miki-san4u
Minnimoto
Minstrel of Ages
MoMo the Mesh Monster ("Love of Penguins" and "The Brightest Green")
moyabomb ("All He Sees is Red")

ocean of milk
OceanLeviathan
patleon909
PlatonicTeddys
Renteka-Bond
Rpgking7
sapphiremage1106
Shade the Raven ("Far From Home")
shootdown20
Slasher71

Snake King
Stanko-B
Story Hunter
syruku
Takakuma7
Tarathiel
typecastwriter45
vegi89
Viktor Mayrin ("Divergent Branch")
Von Karma Jr.

Wesieboy
Xernuht
Yamikochan
Zarclonia
Zephyr.Camida
zero-damage ("A Very Good Influence" and "The Shortest Distance from A to B")
Ziek Aramaik
!

If I missed you, please let me know - this is simply the list that I see in my author's links, and you deserve the mention for your support!

Updates

It's been a while since I updated this - sorry.

For those of you still following, the penultimate chapter of "1 More Chance!" - Chapter 64, "I Am Thou" - went up a few weeks ago. Feedback has been pretty good (if low in numbers)...but what's really important to me is that I've been able to get so far in this story, writing it my own way.

I've had some discussions with some reviewers about what is coming next, and I'm not certain.

I am very interested in participating in NaNoWriMo again this year, and I have already plotted out most of that story. Then there are the Doctor Who universe short stories (most notably the Songbirds Series), that I've been having a real blast writing. Both of these projects get very little attention, but that's okay; they are just as personal to me as "1 More Chance!" has been, but I already know that the reader/fan base for these stories is/will be small, so I never get hung up on hit statistics or wondering what I'm doing wrong, that very few people are giving me any kind of feedback.

I'm still interested in writing the two sequels to "1 More Chance!"...but I don't know when I'll get to those. Not until next year, likely. The apparent resurgence of interest and excitement about Persona 4 from the anime and upcoming games may change my mind, but I rather doubt it. As I told one kind and generous reviewer, I'm not that interested in telling stories about TV adventures or murder mysteries. My stories are about relationships between friends and lovers and families, and the general fandom just doesn't seem to respond well to that. I mean, you just have to look at how relatively under the radar "1 More Chance!" is, compared to other stories out there.

That being said, I have to thank whoever "Sour Jack" is, for recommending 1MC! over on TV Tropes. I've long wanted recognition for my story over there [don't ask me why; it's rather a stupid and pointless thing for which to yearn], and I was thrilled to see that it is finally listed as a recommended fanfic.

Geez, that sounds lame.

Anyway, I hope that those of you who continue to read the story are continuing to enjoy it, as well. I have to write for myself and my own desires, but it's always nice to know that others are having fun with it, too.

Jump Start

This Persona-Pairings theme week over at deviantART has really given me a kickstart, for some reason. I don’t get a lot of views/feedback for my contributions, but it has been good for my motivation. Whenever I get a comment that someone enjoys something I’ve written or (wow!) drawn, it just pushes me to keep going.

Right now, I’m working on a Naoto(!)-centric piece that I’m actually really enjoying! And Naoto is probably my least favorite of the team!

I’m not saying that this has rekindled my love for writing or for the fandom, because that hasn’t wavered, but actually hearing from people who read/look at my work again has really made me feel good about what I do, again.

...and that's not just because I get to draw naked boys 'n' girls. ;)

For those interested

In the Author's Notes of the most recent chapter (63, "Just Now"), I wanted to make a note that I did not want in any way to belittle the terrible loss and devastation caused by the March 11 earthquake and the tsunami that followed. I suppose that no one (or, at least, no one who took the time to comment) took offense at the developments in the chapter, but the concern was genuine.

There are many times that art imitates life, and I've been lucky enough that it's done so in very wonderful ways. But I didn't want my art to be seen as capitalizing on a part of life that was horrifying; I've had enough of that in my own existence. The crucial moment in the story - where Chie has to deal with a sudden and unexpected possibility of loss - has its roots in reality in my own life. And the repercussions of that moment - the fear and anger - were difficult to write, because I'd experienced those feelings, myself. So if anyone wants to take issue with what I wrote, and the way I wrote it, I'm happy to have a mature discussion about it.

The story is what it is, though, and it tells what I want it to tell, so don't expect that part of it to change. But if you, dear reader, would like to go into more detail about this or any other part of the story, feel free to speak up.

Breaking Point

I recently had a conversation that got me to think more critically about my writing.

I love telling the story of Chie and her friends. And even though "1 More Chance!" is quickly coming to an end, there is a much larger tale that I can tell about my oft-maligned trio of protagonists (that being Chie, Yousuke, and Kuma). But this recent conversation made me start to rethink that larger story.

Not the plot of it, or where the characters are going, or what's eventually going to happen to them, because all of that was decided a long, long time ago.

But if that particular story should even be.

Basically, I was told to get my ass out of the safety of the fan fiction game and return to the professional circuit, shopping around spec chapters and writing letters to agents and editors who can possibly get my name on the shelves for real. I admit the thought is tempting, and I think I'm a much better writer now than I was when I first swam in that pool, almost ten years ago.

But I would miss this story. I would miss these characters. I would miss all of the wonderful and terrible things I've thought up and stressed over and plotted over the last two years. I've never felt such a connection to these people as I have with any other characters, before. Maybe it's because so much of me is in them already. But I feel as though dropping them now - with their stories only half-told - would be a shame. Perhaps not to you (because who are you, anyway? I don't even know), but to me.

Then again, I've fallen in love with some of my original characters, too, and the tales they had to tell. Maybe those stories deserve a return look, another pass by the editor.

Maybe it's time for me to grow up, to leave Chie and Yousuke and the rest behind.

Maybe I just need to look at all of the charming stories I've yet to tell for them - the stories of love and happiness, the stories of pain and heartbreak, the stories of life and of death - and just...give them to someone else. Because when it comes down to the words on the page, who are these people, except for figments of my imagination? Beautiful and wonderful and terrifying figments, figments I've come to love writing and love sharing...but figments nevertheless.

There have always been other stories about this particular universe that are more easily accepted, more universally loved, more simply appreciated than mine. And maybe I should have seen that writing on the wall a long time ago, should have realized that all of those lost readers was a sign that my time is done.

I don't know.

I would have enjoyed writing Yousuke's story, though. I would have enjoyed writing Kuma's story, too. And, who knows? There might still be time for them, some day.

But I already knew that the stories I want to tell with these characters aren't what people are looking for. So maybe I'll get lucky, and I'll find an audience out there for my own characters, living in those same stories of family and love.

I hope so.

Poll Closed, and Love Hotel "News"

Well, it's May, and the "Where do you prefer to read my stories" has closed. Thank you to the six (6?) folks who voted; it seems like the majority of you (6!) prefer to read my stories at bonusparts.com. I suppose that means I need to figure out an easy way that readers can leave feedback about the story if they choose, since the only option right now is to send me an email directly. Perhaps some sort of forum solution...? (If you have a good idea about this, please let me know!)

Chapter 62 ("Precious Mistakes") went up the second week in April, and while it didn't get a lot of traffic or comments (yet, anyway...though I average about 4-6 comments per chapter, so I'm not really expecting more), what feedback I did get was positive, which is always nice, especially since it's one of those "slower" chapters.

One author whose work I enjoy wrote about the love hotel Club Escapade, where the Investigation Team stays during their trip to Port Island in the game. It's a funny location, and can lead to lots of interesting situations, but I wanted to take a look at love hotels from a different perspective: not as a source of derision or eye-rolling, but someplace where a couple might really enjoy going, just to get some private time away from it all.

Finding the time to indulge in their baser desires is not a huge issue for my protagonists (because while they've got the equivalent of a 10-year-old girl sleeping in the room next door, it's still another room, and even if they do get a little energetic, it hasn't adversely affected Kuma any), but they also don't have the luxury of getting it on at any time of day they choose. (They do have jobs, after all.) So I wanted to show readers that love hotels - the right love hotels - can be pretty sweet, romantic places, after all.

I enjoyed doing the research for this one, too. :) Perusing information sites and many "rabuho" guest rooms and check-in counters was a fascinating eye-opener into a country and society where privacy is so highly valued, yet there's so very little of it to be had on a day-to-day basis.

I also wanted to take the opportunity of having Chie lead Yousuke in a way we haven't seen before: it's a gentle moment between them that's about intimacy - not just sex - and I wanted her to have the same kind of conversation about past romances that he had in Chapter 61 ("The Way It Is; or, Inertia"). It isn't about her asserting her dominance in a sexual situation; it's about her coming to him as an equal, giving of herself and looking for his acceptance. While it is a sex scene at its core, it's really meant to be much more than that.

I'm working on Chapter 63 right now (in between making pretty, shiny drawings over at deviantART), and it's making me a little bit sad that this story is coming to a close. But the bulk of the story has been moving toward these last moments, and I hope that you'll enjoy them.

You know, all six of you.

Sketchbook tangent

If you've been following my Twitter feed, or my deviantART account, you know that I've been spending some time getting back into sketching and coloring. The majority of this practice is related to the updated ideas I've got for the characters in "1 More Chance!" (If you're interested in any of these, click the deviantART link at the top of this page.)

That doesn't mean that I've given up with the writing, though. In fact, even the little feedback and support that I've gotten for my drawings has reignited my intense love for the characters and their situations, and, since I've started drawing again, I've come a long way in Chapter 62. It really helped me to push through a few very difficult sequences (I took out, replaced, and took out again one character for one sequence at least three times; that scene takes up several pages in my "unused" document!), and I think I'm at a place now where I'm pleased with the chapter as a whole. There is quite a bit of pluperfect description in there, though, just as a warning...but it hopefully works to help you understand what's going on, and why.

Hopefully, you like the drawings, just as - hopefully - you like the story. I enjoy writing and drawing them, and I'm happy to be able to share them with readers. I want readers to be able to understand at least a little bit the full experience I see in my head. :)

Reading, writing, and more

This blog seems to have become a place for me just to talk about my writing, lately...which is fine. It's been so long since a "real" update to my story that I doubt it much matters anymore (and very few people ask any questions, anyway). So, here I am, to talk about what's been going on.

Chapters 31 through 35 have all undergone some drastic rewrites. (Chapters 36 and 37 are currently still on the drawing board, but I know specifically where those edits need to occur; I've already made one pass at 37 since its original posting back in 2009.)

I went back to my "unused" document and ended up putting in a lot of my scrapped - if occasionally favorite - conversations and moments from the original and putting them back in, though usually in different locations within the story entire.

And I think it's a better story because of it.

It's not just longer, though that did happen, too, albeit mostly from the addition of some minor descriptions between dialogue. (There are a lot of additional "he said" and "she said" bits in there, now, to break up the flow of talking, and to give the characters a chance to breathe.) No, I think the new edits really help the story flow from a characterization and motivation point, more than anything else.

Of course, I'm the writer, so I would say that.

Now, it's time to get back to work on Chapter 62, which - for better or worse - examines the Chie/Yousuke relationship in a more closely intimate way than I've done in a while. For those of you still reading, that means that the chapter really deals with just the two of them, and where they are and are heading in their romance. Yes, other characters do show up, but now is the moment where the story will shift more pointedly back to the main couple in particular, since we've gotten to see how the relationships of their friends have affected them (in Chapters 59, 60, and 61).

I've said it before, I know, but I still really enjoy writing for these two. I want to keep writing for them. Chapter 62's delay has something to do with the deviantART edits, but it also has a lot to do with me thinking about how particular moments need to flow. (I've written once interaction at least a dozen times now, and I think I've finally gotten it right with this most recent pass!)

So, the next update is coming. Maybe sooner than you expect, though probably later than you hope. :)

And if you've read this far, thanks - as always - for your attention, your patience, and your support. You don't know how much it means to me to hear that I still manage to entertain you.

:)

Reality hits

Writing these stories seems kind of pointless to me, right now, in light of the natural disasters that struck Japan today. Luckily, all of my friends and family seem to be safe and all right (thank goodness!), but there is still damage and death in the country. Japan is a very small country in comparison to most of the rest of what we somewhat-selfishly call the "First World"...but it is still full of a lot of people, who have lives and loved ones and families.

It makes me feel stupid, to be writing silly stories about my second home, when I could be doing so much more than that to really make a difference. I've donated to the Red Cross, which has a Disaster Alert page set up, but it still feels hollow.

I don't really know what else to do, though, except continue. Prayers are said, words and messages of encouragement are sent, and funds are donated where I can do so.

I guess I'll just let the insight of my characters speak for me, in this case:
Let the people you care about, know that. Today. Because you never know what tomorrow will bring.

More edits, more delays, and more...melancholy, I guess.

The newly-edited Chapter 33 ("Juxtaposition") (link goes to the Fanfiction.Net version) just went up a couple of days ago, and - like with Chapters 31 and 32 - I'm quite pleased with the changes made. They're more subtle than the edits made to Chapter 32 ("Listening Skills"), but no less significant to the telling of the story as a whole. It was great fun revisiting that somewhat-tricky conversation with Yukiko on the bleachers, but I do think that the new version is more indicative of what I was trying to get across the first time, but was not able to portray completely to my satisfaction, given the weekly deadlines.

That said, re-working these last couple of chapters really put a stop on my progress on Chapter 62. I'm just now starting to get back into swing with the characterizations of these characters the better part of a year on from where they are during the Duel/Arc III chapters, and it's taking some concentration to work through on the page where Chie and her friends are supposed to be. (Quite a bit of re-reading of chapters 59-61 going on, lately, to help that happen.) I'm looking forward to reaching the end of the Arc III rewrites, even though I think that's probably my favorite of all the plots, because it deals so intimately with the relationship between the two main protagonists.

I really enjoy seeing what new insights new readers bring to this story. A couple of my readers at deviantART are so sharp-eyed about details that it sometimes surprises me. Perhaps because they're used to critiquing visual art, so they pay attention to the little details. But it's been a long time since I've gotten that kind of in-depth, thoughtful feedback for any of my stories in quite a long time.

And it feels awesome.

Of course, to all good things there must come an end, and it's been quiet over there, of late. Quiet at FF.Net, too, despite the number of hits the story still gets.

Every time I see a spike in "interest" (I can only assume there's at least some interest, when there's a bump in hit statistics), I wonder if it's new readers or old ones, and what they think about the story. The wordcount is massive, so I'm guessing that individuals are not just killing time with reading...unless they've got a lot of it to kill. I also wonder what other stories they're reading, how they think my story measures up to others...all of that typical, self-doubting writer stuff....

I suppose that my time is better spent actually writing the story than worrying over it. But I still miss the old days, when I seemed to make more people happy with my story.

Maybe those days will come back, again. I like to hope so.

The saga of Chapter 32

Some of you may have noticed that I recently uploaded the rewritten version of Chapter 32, "Listening Skills" (link will take you to the Fanfiction.Net copy). I'm calling this one specifically a rewrite and not an edit, because I basically scrapped nearly the entire chapter and wrote it again from scratch. Some of the interactions remain the same...but I never quite liked the way that one of my favorite moments - that of the "internal music" - did not make it into the final product, in the original version. (For those of you who have read the updated chapter, it's the conversation between when Chie first comes to Yousuke at the cliff and when she goads him into the play fight.)

Originally, that mini-scene took place in Chapter 31, with Kazunori guiding Yousuke, and Chie stepping in later. And while I liked that moment, it took away from the interaction between the sparring fighters, and it pushed Yousuke forward too quickly, especially considering what occurs within the tent later in the chapter. So, I took the scene out, and it lingered in my unused document for many, many months. Until I started doing the edits for deviantART.

I had always really liked that "your music is inside of you" moment, and I looked forward to putting it back into the story. I think it works, especially as a bridging point from Yousuke's attitude in the beginning - where he's still sort of fighting against Chie's influence - to the end of the chapter, where he's become much more dedicated to his training, which extends throughout the rest of the arc.

Much of the feedback for the original Chapter 32 had also commented on how "choppy" the narrative felt, and I think the re-arrangement of scenes and conversations this time around does a better job of uniting the theme of paying attention to yourself (and to your friends, which is where the seed of Yukiko's issues gets planted in Chie's head).

Do you agree? Disagree? Do you appreciate the changes made to the story so far? Or am I just writing for myself, these days?

Adult themes - Are you ready?

Those of you who follow my writing at deviantART or Bonusparts.com will notice that there are a few pieces posted there that I haven't posted at Fanfiction.Net. Many of these stories are simply old and just not worth the effort of converting and uploading to FF.Net, or (in one case, at least) exist under someone else's account. But there is one story that I purposefully have left off of FF.Net, for a very specific reason.

"Sink Into My Sin" is a very short Persona 4 story that takes a glimpse into the possible relationship between Konishi Naoki and his sister Saki. It's based on a very lovely piece of art by a talented young lady who goes by Marureenu at deviantART. I wrote the story for her, in many ways, and for her art. She herself writes a beautiful little story in the description of the piece, and I urge you to take a look and read it; it's very thoughtful, and thought-provoking.

Normally, I am not one for the darker aspects of human emotion, certainly not in a love or sexual situation. I don't believe that incest as a real-world practice is healthy, but I also think that there can be a very particular kind of love between siblings that is untouched by any other relationship we have in our lives. Examining that in a story setting, though, is tricky. I never know whom I'm going to offend. Which is why I left the story off of FF.Net.

I don't like to say this, but when I read comments and stories on FF.Net, I often get the impression that there is not a lot of open-mindedness, or appreciation for the simple craft of a piece. Even the same-sex pairings are usually written so poorly, without thought for characterization or motivation for the situation, that I can't help but assume these are written by people who are very young, very inexperienced, very closed-minded, or some frightening combination of the three.

Now, that is not to say that everyone is not entitled to their own opinion. You are, and I am. But I've found that so many people have had a problem with the way that I portray just regular, consensual, adult sex in my stories, in all of its confounding human-ness (and realism!), that I can't even imagine what kind of shitstorm could occur if they read my Naoki/Saki piece. I already get dissed by readers because of the style in which I write, and the pairings I favor.

I'm very pleased with the story, myself. It serves its purpose, certainly, and I think it's one of my better vignettes, in terms of cadence and manner. And I love sharing my stories. But I just don't want to deal with the potential backlash from that one.

So, the more that I think about it, the more I'm considering not posting at FF.Net any longer. At least, not posting those stories with a more adult slant to them. The problem is that all of my stories take an adult slant. Not always sexually speaking, but from the perspective of being an adult, dealing with adult issues, which includes adult fears, desires, and conundrums; "Breaking Point" (the sequel story to "1 More Chance!") has those in spades...!

Anyway, if you've read "Sink Into My Sin" (or any of my stuff) and you enjoyed it, I thank you for your support, and for giving my work a chance. Be on the lookout for more stories in the future.

In the beginning....

I was feeling nostalgic the other day, while poking around in my archive files, and I came across the original 3K-word start to 1 More Chance!, back when it was just an idea for a romance story I was fooling around with, another throwaway one-shot of "just another something" to get me back into writing.

It was amusing to see the similarities that those few off-the-cuff pages had to the final product...but it was also very interesting to note the drastic changes that I'd made, by the time I'd plotted 1MC into a more large-scale tale. (Not "epic." My story is not "epic." Long, involved, hopefully resonant. But saying one's own story is "epic" is conceit beyond barriers.) It was really just a by-day exploration of how the characters had changed from being teenagers lost in a maze of relationships between each other...but there was so much between the lines that I had just glossed over...!

I sometimes wonder what would have become of my writing if I had just left that story as "2020 Visions" (because it was going to be set in 2020, nearly 10 years after the game; yes, I know it's a stupid title), and never written 1 More Chance! Maybe my tastes would have gone in a different direction. I doubt I would have gone back to Fanfiction.Net or deviantART for just a one-shot that, in hindsight, was sophomoric at best in its plot and characterization, and that might have been a shame. I've learned so much over the course of writing this story, and I'm excited to learn more: about my heritage, and looking at life from different perspectives, and getting into the heads of a few more characters.

I like to think that my interpretations of the characters have grown from what they were in the beginning, even of 1MC. Almost a year has passed for these individuals, after all, and some of them have changed dramatically over that time. I'm not sorry for what I did with any of them (well, except for maybe Kuma...Kuma will never be the same for me again, now...and the character has more changes coming!). But I do often wonder if I'm alone in my consideration of what happens after.

That said, I can't imagine anymore not caring so much about these characters and their lives, and their families' lives. That's one of the main reasons why I want to keep writing about them, even if it doesn't show up here or on one of the fandom sites. I just can't put my pen down from their stories.

I think I knew that even back when I first started scribbling out that 2020 story. But - just like my characters are sometimes guilty of the same thing - I didn't realize what I was getting into.